Thursday, August 21, 2008

Lets try it again

My period came, such a delight to wake up to this AM. I think its amazing how something as simple as a temp drop signifies the arrival of my period but atleast I got the warning. Saved me from crying today, I got to do that yesterday :)

I used to think of "good" things that I got to do because my period was here and I wasnt pregnant. Like a coping mechanism. I have a bachelorette party this weekend that I can now get wasted at. But for some reason, this doesnt make me feel better one bit. Id rather be pregnant.

I keep trying to remember I am not walking this journey alone. I guess I just wish I didnt always feel so alone. Thanks for the support, you all mean alot to me.

One night I had a dream--
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints,
one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints."I don't understand why in times when I needed you most,you should leave me."

The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
"When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you


Mary said...

Oh Shannon. I'm so sorry babe. You're not alone though - we're all here for you. ((((Hugs))))

Tara said...

Sorry about your period Shannon. I hope that you have a fun weekend at the party.

Angela said...

ugh I am so sorry. I really hope next cycle is yours.

Niki said...

Sorry Shan!! ((HUGS))

Applying Footprints to the pain and hardship felt with TTC does make it all seem a little less overwhelming. Hope you feel some comfort from being carried a bit :o)

Jocelyn said...

Footprints is one of my favorite readings, and really applies here. Sorry you are starting over this month, I pray this is your month!

hopefaithlove said...

Sorry sweetie. When are you starting with the RE? Hoping your new mix of supplements works for you!

Shannon said...

i'm so sorry Shannon :-( I love how you posted that poem. Margaret Fishback-Powers is the lady who wrote that poem and actually went to our church, she was good friends with my family. The poem was very fitting, and honestly it never crossed my mind since TTC, so thanks for posting it. And I agree with the drinking part. Dh always says well at least now we can go and drink, however I wish that I had a reason NOT to drink, like a baby growing inside of me!
Lots of hugs
And I will email you soon, I have just been so busy this week. My sister is in labour(now going on 48 hours!!) So I'm very excited!

Marilyn said...

I like reading your blog. I know your name from the nest. I am so sorry you are going through this very challenging time in your life. I read it and I feel your pain and I think to myself, you are one of those girls I would really like to hear a victory story from very soon because you deserve it and I can't wait when that day comes! Good Luck this cycle!