Sunday, October 19, 2008


Today marks the beginning of National Infertility Awareness Week. I just want to take this time to honor all of the people who walk this journey every day with me. You all get it. You know how hard it is. You know how much it hurts. You know how much it can completely turn your life upside down. I hope that even though its hard, you have comfort in not walking the journey alone.

My friend asked me the other day how I was feeling about still trying to get pregnant. Not many people ask me that because I think they are scared of me. They are scared to upset me. They dont know how to deal with me. And thats hard because it makes me feel even more alienated from my girlfriends, most of which have children. I told her that I feel like my life is not my own anymore. Its divided into two sections; Waiting to Ovulate and Waiting to Take a Test. I have put so much on hold while we have been trying. Heck, I didnt even buy clothes for well over a year. And Dan and I didnt take a cruise for our anniversay because I thought surely I would be pregnant. I feel like infertility tells me how to feel. If I ovulate on time, Im happy. If my blood levels come back good, Im thrilled. If my temps drop one day, I am crushed. When my period shows up, sometimes its hard to breathe through the tears. It owns me.

I dont want it to own me anymore. I want to be free. I want my Sisters in Infertility to be free, too. You all are in my thoughts today. I love you all.

Also, take the time to click on this pledge and show your support to Infertility and RESOLVE.



Mary said...

Oh Shannon. Your post hit me more than you will ever know. I too have been putting my world on hold for over two years now. I didn't want to plan a vacation because of what may be. The one good thing that has come out of this is all of the wonderful girls i have met, you included. Say it with me - it WILL happen. It will.
Love ya!

hopefaithlove said...


Love the new look!

Carly said...

i love the new blog format and just wanted to give you a BIG HUG!!! I am thinking of you and wishing and praying for you

Elisa said...

Shan, I adore this post and I adore you. You are srsly one of the strongest people I know. I find you so inspiring...

PS - I heart the picture of you and Dan where you're holding the beautiful bright sunflowers!