Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Its my own fault, but still...

I am SO sick of comments that people make about my troubles with TTC. And I am quite aware that its my own fault for being open about my journey with those who ask, but part of me wishes I could take that back my openess and crawl into a hole. One deep, deep down where I dont have to hear stuff like this:

"Just relax, when you quit thinking about it, it will happen"
REALLY? Because although I am gaining acceptance on my journey, I dont think I am able to quit thinking about the fact that I might not ever carry a biological child. So yeah, thanks

"Enjoy your time without kids. My kid barfed/peed/crapped etc on me last night and it was horrible. The time without kids is the best!"
Um, I realize that kids are alot of work. Im sure is not delightful to have some take a dump on your arm. But still, it does not make me feel one ounce better. It actually makes my heart ache more so thats awesome

"I hope you arent thinking about taking fertility drugs? You arent, are you? Because you'll end up with a whole van of kids. Just adopt. Adoption is so much easier"
Where to begin that does not involve kicking someone in the face? I cannot stand to listen to people's uninformed position on fertility treatement. And adoption? Not that easy. I would know, we are looking into it. So again, thanks.

I love this article. I am sure I have posted it before, but heck, I am posting it again. Its a great guide on how to treat someone who is dealing with probably one of the hardest things of their life:

I should also point out, however, that for every obnoxious comment I receive, I also receive some wonderful support that I will forever cherish. And again, I understand that by putting myself out there and sharing my journey with some people I am close to and even some people that I am not close to, I am opening myself up to a variety of opinions on TTC. But it doesnt make it any less annoying.

On the TTC front, my body is officially on an Ovulation Strike. CD 21 and no O yet. I am hoping it will happen soon so I can take a break from, ya know, the thing you have to do to get pregnant. Girl needs a rest! :)

Hope everyone is enjoying their week! 9 days until Christmas!


A said...

Shannon, I totally agree with your frustrations. I hope O shows up for you soon! (((((HUGS)))))

gringa78 said...

Hey Shan. I know.

I've been thinking about being open lately too, and regretting slowly telling people here and there that we're trying....but I've learned a couple things: When I tell people we're having trouble, they usually stop asking questions and I have also discovered people who have struggled and have had success getting pregnant. So, it sucks in some ways, but in others it helps to share what you're going through. It's amazing what a silent world it is out there when it comes to IF...there are stories and people who share your experience/journey, but it's so often not discussed. Just keep being who you are.

Thinking of you and sending you a virtual hug.

Melissa said...

I'm so with you on this one. I keep hearing about how I'm obsessed and that is preventing me from getting pg. I am sending you prayers and hugs.

Dianne said...

Hey Shannon it's not your fault people are stupid or insensitive!! Your page is an inspiration to all of us going through the same thing! I hate those kind of comments - but it just comes from ignorance!!

flojat said...

I think you should ask for some pointy toed boots for Christmas so you can kick people in the shins when they make comments like that.

You rock, by the way.

Lindsay said...

::BIG HUG:: Sorry. People are stupid. I sat at the thanksgiving table this year and had my mom and aunt go on for about 30 mins about how "fertile" our family is and all someone has to do is breath on us and we will get PG. It was the first time I wished they knew we were TTC, so they would be more sensative around me. But on the other hand, you wind up with what you are experiencing. People who know but still aren't sensative. I guess you can't win either way, right? In the end just know your openness is helping others who are struggle and that you serve as a great example of how faith can get you through anything.

AMG said...

I'm sorry about the insensitive people and comments. ((HUGS))

Elisa said...

oh, how i agree... many many hugs to you!

Kristin (kekis) said...

It is NOT your fault. People are stupid. It's really that simple. Thanks for posting the link to that article. I hadn't seen it before, and it is so true. Take care . . .

♥RedRose101307♥ said...

(((Hugs))) for my shannie!
i'm sorry people are douchenozzles and are being insensitive.
we're all here for you and love you very much!


Amy said...

Hi...Just a lurker here. I think Google Reader sugguested that I read your blog, and now I'm hooked.
I recently miscarried at 18 weeks, and I've been hearing the stupidest comments, too--like, "If you carried him to term he probably would have had special needs, and you wouldn't have wanted that."
Sometimes, honestly, I want to spit a huge wad in peoples' faces.
Then I remember...they just don't get it.
But through all of this, I've learned an important lesson: keep my mouth shut and offer hugs.
Lots of luck to you guys!

Kristi said...

This just goes to show you that being stupid really does come easy to so many people! I think stupidity, along with insensitivity, are two of the biggest things we've come up against in "fertiles" or just regular people in general. It's sad but true, that until you yourself are going through or have gone through IF, you just can't/don't understand. That's why I think blogging about it and coming "out of the closet" per say, is such a great way to raise awareness. Yes, by doing that we do put ourselves in the path of these stupid people, but we also support fellow IF'ers and give each other hope. So, you ARE helping people and inspiring others to keep fighting the fight, and for that I thank you my friend!

Sarah P said...

Hey Shan - I really enjoy reading this. Sometimes I don't understand the lingo, but I feel intimately involved in your process and thus closer to you! I will try to not be one of the people making insensitive comments. It is hard for people to remember there is is such commonality to life. We are all connected by inner struggles - sometimes ones no one knows about. Life is hard for all of us sometimes, and everyone could use a reminder that we are all faced with difficulties that are not open for hurtful comments! It gives us all a lesson to handle others with care!