Sunday, March 29, 2009

...and so I wait

Today is day 1 of Clomid and I am excited to get this party started! I am not looking forward to the variety of symptoms I had last time on Clomid but, who knows, that was a year ago so maybe this time will be better!

In church this morning, a woman gave me a poem that she had found by Russell Kelfer. I really liked it and wanted to share it with all of you:

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied,
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking; and this is my cry;
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair.
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.

You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd now know the depth of the beat of My heart.
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.

The depth that' beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly feel,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.

And though often My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still...Wait."


Leannabanna said...

GL Shannon. Thoughts and prayers coming your way :)

Rob & Lindsey said...

This is exactly what God is teaching me right now! I just did a post last night about the same thing! Praying for you!


Danse said...

GL! I hope the clomid s/e's are mild for you - they weren't too bad for me.

Jesse and Mandy Peterson said...

I love that poem. I found it when I was going through infertility too. I still have it posted by my desk at work. It means a lot to me and I hope that you are able to experience God more and more as you wait, and that you experience Him soon in the end of the waiting. Wishing you the best!

BabyBurns said...

Good luck this cycle! I'm anxiously awaiting your updates!!

Amy said...

Wow, what a powerful poem! Thank you so much for sharing that as it really touched my heart. I am praying that this is your cycle!

Silvina said...

GL. Hopefully the clomid won't be too bad this time.

Kristin said...

Thanks for that great poem Shannon! I needed it today as I found out we won't be having a baby in 2009. I will wait...

lovealways6565 said...

good luck shan!! :o) My fingers are crossed! And that was such a beautiful poem!

Lindsay said...

What a great poem. I hope that this cycle is your lucky one.

Ro said...

That is such a beautiful and touching poem. Thank you for sharing it with us.

I wish you the best, Shannie.

Mel said...

gl shannon! hopefully the clomid is nice this time around. i'll be thinking of you!

gringa78 said...

Thinking of you, Shan!

Phillip said...

Shannon, I am so excited for you that your IUI cycle is underway! I'm praying that this will be the only one you need!

MrsAO said...

Very best of luck and lots of e-hugs to you!

Shannon said...

I love that poem!! Its so fitting eh? Especially for right now.
Im thinking and praying for you hun! This WILL be our cycle:-)

Bliss04 said...

wow. that's all i can say about that poem.