Monday, April 20, 2009

What is my plan?

I know that as I am waiting for my 2 WW to be over I should be focusing on the possibility that I am pregnant and trust me, I really am. But I am also being realistic and for some reason, the following thought keeps creeping into my head:

What IS God's plan for me.

When I decided to turn my IF journey over to God, I relied heavily on this verse:

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

And so I did this. I gave it over to God and trusted in his plan for us. But I guess my problem is that I dont see the plan. I dont feel the plan in my heart. I dont sense the plan in my soul. Alot of people I talk to have heard their plan. They are moving to IVF, they are being called to adoption. I just dont know what the plan is for me. I dont feel ready for IVF, I dont feel ready for adoption so if these IUI's dont work, then where do I go?

So I dont know, I guess Im just rambling. But Im also asking for prayers. Not for me to get pregnant, but for God to shed light on his plan for us. And for me, that I learn to listen better because maybe I just not hearing it.

Thanks in advance for any prayers you toss up, I appreciate them :)

19 comments:

Bekah said...

Shanny ~ I too feel like I am not hearing the plan. I struggle with coming to terms with IVF and adoption is not an option for me right now. So here I am with 2 failed IUI's under my belt and no where to go from here. Praying for light to show us both our paths. Hugs!

Shell said...

You have such inspirational faith! I'll pray you see God's plan. I too have a hard time seeing God's plan sometimes. It's usually when I'm thanking him for something or praying hard for someone else that I get my answer. God bless!

Mrs. Hammer said...

You will certainly be in my prayers. This is the hardest part of the Christian walk for me; trying to understand the plan! One thing I learned was not to look to far ahead and instead to focus on where I was at and the options our RE was giving us at each cross road to pray over. Then I wasn't searching for the bigger plan but where God had us at that moment, was showing us, and teaching us. {{HUGS}}

Lindsay said...

I'll be praying for you and dan.

Danse said...

I'm sorry, Shannon. You are in my thoughts and I'm hoping that this cycle is it for you. I know for me (and you can take this with a grain of salt as I'm not really a religious person) - for me as we moved through the process and had failed attempts (whether it be clomid or IUI) - it was such a roller coaster that I felt ready to move to IVF, even after a short time.

Best to you! You'll be in my thoughts.

Jesse and Mandy Peterson said...

I've learned that sometimes, when we don't know where to go next, it's because we are supposed to stay where we are and wait for God to move us- that He'll lead us in the right direction when we need to take another step. Other times, I've learned that if I REALLY HAVE TO make a decision and am not sure what to take (and I have sought God and don't have any specific direction) that I should just move and He'll bless me in that movement. Perhaps it's because it really doesn't matter what way you choose- He's going to do His work in it no matter what.

When it comes to infertility, I was really struggling with the question of how long to stay with my OB-GYN and when to move onto an RE. I was worried about wasting my time with an OB-GYN if it was the RE I needed, but then worried about wasting my money on an RE if the OB-GYN could help me just as easily. In the end, I knew that I should be pro-active where God had put me right now (at the OB-GYN's office) and to be very prayerful along the way, knowing that He'd give me direction when He knew I needed it.

I guess, in a sense, the plan isn't really knowing if you are going to choose one fertility treatment or the other. The plan is actually to trust God's direction as He leads you to the next step. And, when you are following in His footsteps, even when you don't know where they are going or don't even see them moving, you'll find yourself exactly where you need to be... and it'll be better than you could ever imagine!

Shannon said...

Shannon your such an inspiration to me! I love that verse too, and it helps a lot.
I dont feel that God tells me what to do, especially with IF treatments/methods. However I do feel that God will guide me in some way. If IUI isnt the path Im supposed to take than in some way God wont let that happen. That also includes IVF and adoption.(Writing a post about that right now)
Lots and lots of prayers and hugs for you hun! Your the best

Amy said...

I always feel as though I do not hear (or don't listen to) what God is telling me. It's definitely a tough situation. I will continue to pray for you Shannon!

Mary said...

Oh Shannon, you are always in my prayers.
I'm going to tell you a secret.... even after all the times I thought there was a plan - something came along and threw a wrench in it. The more I think about it, the more I realize that those plans were MY plans - not God's. I'm also not quite sure what his plans are for me yet. Time will tell for both of us.

Have faith sweetie, it'll happen.
I'm here if you ever need a shoulder.

Alicea (mnbride1013) said...

I know what it feels like to be in limbo and not know which direction to go, it's so unsettling. I will pray that God sheds some light on your path so you know which way to go.

I'm also still praying that your IUI works and you get pregnant, too! :)

Silvina said...

((HUGS))!! I prayer for you all the time. I hope the IUI does work!!!

Bliss04 said...

maybe the plan He has for you isn't in black and white right now because you're not in the right place to hear it yet. if the path you are being called to take is adoption, then you said yourself, you're not ready for that. if you're not ready to move on from IUI, maybe He's waiting to tell you your path until you are ready to move forward?

lovealways6565 said...

Shannon you are such an amazing person.. Your faith is so strong! I know God has a plan for you and I will be praying for you!! ((hugs))

Ro said...

((HUGE HUGS))

You know I'm always praying for you, hon, and I know that He will guide you always.

Love you.

Kristi said...

I know how hard it can be to leave something completely in the Lord's hands, even though that is the best place to leave anything. I will pray that the Lord continues to guide you on this journey.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer. 29:11

Carly said...

you are always in my thoughts and prayers- and one plan I know God hs for you is to be the inspiration you are to others. You are such a strong, faithful woman that those of us who know you cannot help but be inspired and want to adapt your best qualities. Big hugs, and I am stalking you this week!

Audrey said...

Every prayer I have is sent your way. I love you Shannie, and hope that His plan for you works out. You amaze me. Love you to pieces.

Kelli said...

Hi there! I'm new to your blog, but I just wanted to let you know that I am totally right there with you and sometimes feel the same way!

I'm praying for God's will for your life to be evident to you and hoping a BFP is in your near future!

Tara White said...

I'm sending you positive vibes and prayers! I've been thinking a lot about you these last 2 weeks and really hoping for the best. I'll keep praying for you and Dan. Love ya