Monday, June 29, 2009

2nd Trimester

Well I made it! Its pretty exciting to be at this place and to know that I am getting closer to bringing home our babies.

Here is my newest belly pic, I am really starting to notice a difference now:

How far along: 13w5d

Total weight gain/loss: I "broke even" this morning

Sleep: Im staying up later now but I have to get up to pee every.two.hours and it stinks! I would love to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time. Preparing me for whats its like to have a baby I suppose, lol

Best moment this week: Getting the nursery cleaned out. Before it was a, well dumping ground is the nicest way to put it. I had extra clothes, blankets, and just stuff in it. It took 6 hours and 8 bags but it is cleaned out!

Food cravings: Ginger ale, cherries and peanuts

Have you bought any baby stuff: Nada, except I am wearing some maternity shirts now. They are just more comfortable.

What I miss: Cherry Pepsi. I know I can drink an occasional pop with caffeine, but Im unable to control myself around Cherry Pepsi so I dont even bother.

What I am looking forward to: My next appt in 10 days

Weekly Wisdom: Don't freak out if you can't find the heartbeat on the home doppler. I still cant hear the babies (I can find them but it doesn't stay long enough) so I called the OB and she told me not to worry but to bring it with me next time so she can show me how to use it.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

13 weeks and Walking by Faith

Well I skipped my belly pic again this week because in all honesty, I've been too tired and sick to do much else besides work and eating. But Im feeling good today so I wanted to take some time to update my blog and write about something thats on my mind.

What I really wanted to write about is revelation I had the other day. As most of you know, my faith played a huge role in my TTC journey. After praying, I used to have little convos with God along the lines of "Please just let me get pregnant, its all I want, I promise to be a good mom, I promise I wont let you down" And by the Grace of God, he did bless me with two babies. There is not a day that goes by that I don't thank him for entrusting these two lives to me. I oftentimes feel overwhelmed and not worthy of this blessing.

My revelation came when I realized that I didn't really prepare myself for what would happen AFTER I got pregnant. To me, getting pregnant was my "holy grail" I just wanted to get there. But once I got there, I forgot alot about the faith that led me to where I am today. I dont mean that I quit going to church or reading my bible, I mean that I have let myself become:

Overwhelmed with fear about the babies- are they ok? Are they growing? Why cant I hear the heartbeat on the doppler?

Beaten-down with senses of failure- Why cant I keep up with cleaning, laundry, shopping? Why cant I keep up with work as much? Do my friends know how much I miss lunches, dinners, emails because Im too tried to keep up?

Filled with apprehension for the future- Will I be able to care for two babies? How can I balance being a working mother? How will we get everything done that needs to get done?

Don't get me wrong- I know the answers to these questions. Everything will be ok. But this was a wake-up call to me, similar to the one I got when I was TTC- I CANT DO THIS ALONE. I need to turn these concerns over to God, ask him to grant me peace and clarity in the situation and guide me.

And I am doing that again and it feels good. I feel like I am back on track and I am able to Walk by Faith and that will guide me.

I hope everyone has a great week! Saturday is a big day- I begin the 2nd Trimester so I promise to have a good belly pic then!

Will I believe you when you say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Help me to RID my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
With the one breath You make me new
Your grace covers all I do

Monday, June 15, 2009

Week 11(ish) and the NT scan decision

So I realized that by the time I post my belly pic, its almost the next week. Im going to need to get better at that! I cant believe that in a week and a half, I will be in the Second Trimester, it seems crazy!

Here is my 11 week belly pic:
Im still wearing regular clothes but I have also bought some maternity items that I plan to wear shortly. I have had people tell me that its too early to have a baby bump and that anything I have is bloat but whatever it is, its making my pants hard to button :)

Dan and I also made our decision about the NT scan. My OB indicated it was completely up to us so we talked and prayed about it and after much discussion, we decided not to do the scan. Our decision was based on two things: 1. I wouldnt want to go any further with testing (amnio, etc) 2. We are getting an u/s a month because of the twins and they will be able to detect possible issues that way. So if there is an issue with either of the babies, we could get our advanced warning that way. Since we arent doing the scan, my next appointment is the beginning of July and then three weeks after that will be our BIG Ultrasound.

I hope everyone has a wonderful week!

A mother's joy begins when new life is stirring inside... when a tiny heartbeat is heard for the very first time, and a playful kick reminds her that she is never alone.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

My first OB appt

I had my first OB appt yesterday and it went really good. I like my doctor, she is really patient and also funny, which is actually important to me. I like to joke around so when she thought it was hysterical that I was stressed out about which way to put the hospital gown on (I always forget, is it open in the back or the front, lol), I knew we would get along.

My big concern yesterday was some brown spotting/discharge that I had had since Sunday. Im not going to describe it because Im sure you all can imagine but its still happening and its freaking me out. She did a complete exam though and didnt find signs of any current bleeding and said that most likely, its old blood and not to worry. So I will be working on not worrying until it goes away :)

I did get a quick ultrasound and saw both babies and their flickering heartbeats so that gave me alot of reassurance. My dear friend, Audrey, is also letting me borrow her home doppler so I am hoping to be able to hear the heartbeats soon.

Other than that, I ended my 4 day "No Puke" marathon this morning but I am still feeling better so Im happy about that.

I hope everyone is having a good week!

There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Week 10

I didnt want the weekend to end without posting my 10 week belly, since I missed 9 weeks. Anyone else starting to see a little something? This is the first week where I really feel like I might be getting the beginnings of a belly.

I wanted to thank everyone who weighed in on the NT scan. I have not made a decision yet but hope that after I meet with my new OB tomorrow, I will be prepared to do so. It feel so good to be released from the RE and onto an OB, Im pretty excited about that.

I also have to apologize, I have nothing exciting other than my weekly update to blog about lately. Im so exhausted and just not feeling like myself but I promise, as soon as I feel "human" again, I will be more interesting.

Hope everyone has a great week!

How far along: 10w4d

Total weight gain/loss: Im down one pound

Sleep: Well my nausea has gotten better but now extreme exhaustion has set back in. I cant make it through the day without a nap and have been in bed most nights by 7. What a party animal, lol

Best moment this week: Actually cooking dinner because I wasnt too nauseous. I made meatballs and mashed potatoes tonight and almost cried with joy because I didnt feel sick.

Food cravings: Im not really craving too much but food in general is sounding better.

Have you bought any baby stuff: Still nothing. But by the end of the month, I will begin 2nd tri and the buying will commence.

What I miss: Staying up past 8.

Weekly Wisdom: If you have a day where you feel "normal", don't automatically assume something is wrong with the baby. Enjoy it!

"You block your dreams when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith"

"I caught a glimpse of Your splendor
In the corner of my eye

The most beautiful thing I've ever seen"

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

9 week picture skip and NT scan

Well Im slacking and completely missed posting my 9 week picture. I actually did take one but then my camera quit working so its stuck on my picture card until I can retrieve it. So I suppose my blog will have to do without my belly for one week. I think that means that this week, we will see a bit of a difference because I dont know if its bloat or baby (it cant be babies yet, right?!) but something is going on down there. I also had an u/s on Friday and it went GREAT. Baby B was measuring just two days behind Baby A and the u/s tech was happy with that. I got to hear both of their h/b's and saw them moving their little arm and leg buds, it was amazing!

I was also hoping that some of my blog readers would be willing to comment about the NT scan and why they got or did not get it. I completely understand that the decision to get the scan is up to Dan and I (and my OB) but I am just looking for any personal opinions or feedback. Thank you in advance!

Finally, I wanted to give a special shout out to all my blog readers that are still TTC. I cant tell you how often I think of you girls and read your blogs to find out your updates. You each have a special place in my prayer journal and I am thinking of you often!

“This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”