Friday, April 30, 2010

More 4 month updates

In the last couple weeks, the cutest thing has happened- Josh and Emma have started to notice one another. Most of the times, its just one of them staring at the other. Alot of times, they will notice one another if the other makes a loud noise or cry. This means that we get more of the "crying in stereo" over here- Emma starts wailing and Josh is soon to follow or vice versa. That isn't always so cute!

One cute thing that happens is when they are eating. Emma still is not a big fan of the rice cereal but she does try it. So I normally give two spoonfuls to Josh and then a spoonful to Emma. Well Josh has started this thing that when I am not feeding him, he grunts. Like a "Eh, Eh, Eh, feed me, Eh" kind of thing. He then opens his mouth and moves his head wildly until I can get the spoon in there. Well the other day, Emma was waiting patiently for her next spoonful and I heard a "Eh, Eh, Eh" from her. It was a lot quieter than Josh but the next thing I know, she opens her mouth and starts moving her head wildly. I swear, she learned it from him! Too cute.

I just realized that as of tomorrow, I have been back to work for 2 months. I actually have a post about that coming up, so stay tuned! Hope everyone has a great weekend. Here are some pictures that I got from my MIL- she tries to take some pictures of E&J while they are there. Enjoy!

Emma and Josh with their hoodies on


They look crazy (and bald, lol) in this picture but it shows how dark Josh's eyes are and how blue Emma's are

Josh chillin' in his high chair

Saturday, April 24, 2010


We went from this... this!

Dan and I were editing pictures and it just amazed me to see the difference. Wow, its true- it won't be like this for long!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

One year Ago

One year ago, Dan and I went to Dollar Tree to load up on some pregnancy tests. I had wasted so much money in the past POAS (peeing on a stick) that I decided that this time, I was using the cheap ones.

One year ago, I snuck into the bathroom while Dan was unloading our groceries and even though I promised I wouldn't, I used the pregnancy test at 12 days past my IUI

One year ago, I walked away from the pregnancy test and came back 5 minutes later to one of the most waited for thing in the world- 2 lines

One year ago, I ran to the kitchen and shoved the test in Dan's face and we stared in disbelief. We then laughed, hugged, and stared in disbelief some more.

One year ago was the start of the rest of my life. This past year has brought so many changes and has hard as things are sometimes, I wouldn't change a thing.

We had Emma and Joshua's 4 month appointment yesterday. Here are their stats:


Weight: 12lbs 11 oz- 25th Percentile
Height: 25 inches- 75th Percentile


Weight: 14lbs 7 oz- 50th Percentile
Height: 26 1/2 inches- 95th Percentile

Although they are both in decent percentiles, they are still wearing 0-3 month clothes. I bought them some 3-6 sleepers yesterday and they fit but they are so baggy! Both of them are in Size 2 diapers and I think they will be in those for awhile.

Hope everyone is having a great week!

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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Rice Cereal

We decided to try rice cereal with Emma and Joshua on Saturday, which was their 4 month birthday. The reviews? Mixed.


He seemed to catch on really quick. And once he did, watch out! He now opens his mouth when he sees the spoon and if I take too long getting the spoon to his mouth, he starts yelling. He also does this thing that he does with the bottle and its hysterical. When the spoon (or bottle) gets close to his mouth and he is hungry, he attacks it like a dog would attack a steak (its the only way I can think to explain it) He moves his head from side to side and then moves in to eat.


She is not really enjoying the cereal. I watched her closely and she can swallow it but she apparently hates the taste and probably the texture of it. She is also too interested in her thumb to take the time to eat. I put the food in her mouth and she makes a horrible face, swallows and then shoves her thumb back in her mouth. The problem is that she still has food in there so the food ends up squirting out everywhere. Again, hysterical!

Friday, April 16, 2010

4 months

Emma and Joshua are another month older! We've noticed a lot of changes in the past month so of course its time for another installment of "Things I Don't Want To FOrget"


1. Her best friend? Her thumb. She loves it. Mostly her right thumb but if she can't shove that one in there, the left will also suffice. I always know when she is up because I can hear her slurping

2.Another funny thumb story is that she sucks her thumb to fall asleep. Once she falls asleep, the thumb slowly falls out of her mouth and rests on her lip. But if she wakes back up, she will slurp it right back in. Its so funny.

3. Emma has also learned to scream. Not like when she is mad or wants to eat, but when she is happy, too. So she might be swinging and then all of a sudden remembers she has a voice and she will start using it. Its cute- sometimes, lol.

4. She is eating 25-27 oz a day. A few days she will surprise me and eat more but its been pretty consistent

5. I have been holding her up to the mirror a lot and she likes to look at me in the mirror. She will catch my eye and smile. But when she sees herself, she gets so shy. She will bow her head or sometimes turn it into my chest.

6. Emma's eyes are still blue and even though I know they can still change colors, they are so beautiful. She opens them up so wide when she looks at you. She also lifts up her eye brows a lot and it gives her this sweet, innocent look


1. He would love to suck his thumb but he can't quite get it in his mouth. He balls his hand into a fist and then moves the first around in front of his face, sometimes missing his mouth. He doesn't get frustrated but he does just give up after awhile

2. Although he rolled on Easter and a few times in the days after, he has not done it again but he wants to. He gets up on his side and teeters there before dropping back onto his back

3. He is quite smitten with me, which of course I love. He has this way of just staring at me and then when I look up, he will give me a smile. If I look away, he waits until I look again and then he smiles. He also cranes his neck to see me wherever I am.

4. Josh is eating between 27-30 oz per day. But he is sloooowww and he fights eating. He will turn his head side to side but then when we take the bottle away, he screams. I have tried different bottles, faster nipples, burping him, etc and it doesn't work. He is just a fussy eater.

5. He laughs all the time. He still has that throaty-gulp kind of laugh and he almost always laughs when he hears me laugh, its so cute!

6. I've been doing this thing where I get close to E&J and say "Im going to get you" and then I move in closer and kiss their faces, etc. Well Josh loves this and he can anticipate the kisses. Once I say "Im going to get you" and move in, he opens his mouth wide, starts squealing and kicks his feet.

I survived my first night away but wow, I was so excited to get back! Im glad I only have one more overnight trip for work for the rest of the year so thats good.

Dan and I are taking 4 month pictures of E&J this weekend and their 4 month appointment is on Wednesday. I will be sure to post some more updates then. Have a good weekend!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

How Infertility Changes You

I had a lesson tonight in how infertility changes you.

While out of town, I went to a work dinner function. And someone asked me an innocent question while at dinner- Do I want to have another child? In that moment, the same fears and sadness that plagued me for 2 years (and if I am being honest, still plague me) were brought to the surface. Because I can't answer that question with a carefree response like "Well sure, Id love another baby and Im confident I can just have another one without a problem."

Let me begin my saying the following- I know I am lucky. Er, lucky is an understatement. I am blessed beyond belief. For some reason, God shed His grace on me and blessed me with the opportunity to be the mother to two of the most beautiful children that I have ever seen. I will never, ever take for granted. Ever.

That being said, it saddens me that I don't know if I will ever get to have another child. I won't ever be able to be excited about the prospect of trying to get pregnant because, for me, I don't know if months and months of unprotected sex will lead to a child. And Dan and I have already discussed we will not go through what we went through the first time to conceive. Sure, we got pregnant on our first IUI (and again, I know we are super lucky) but I cannot handle the pain that goes along with trying for months on end. I refuse to lay on the floor of my bathroom and sob like a maniac while I clutch a negative pregnancy test. I just cant do that again.

So, my friends, thats one way that infertility has changed me. Its taken a thing like the prospect of being pregnant and turned it into a source of fear, stress and apprehension. What if one day I decide that I really, REALLY want another baby? Will I then have to enter back into the crazy, unknown world of infertility again? Will I be strong enough to deal with what I dealt with last time?

I guess I will cross that bridge when we come to it. Until then, please know that I am more than happy with what I have. I still pray for those who are fighting the infertility battles. Its not fair that you have to go through that but just know, you arent alone!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

A new first

This is a "Mom-first" and its not a good one. Tomorrow night is the first night I will be away from Emma and Joshua. I have to go to a 2 day meeting for work and its 2 hours away. So tomorrow, I will get up at 4 AM and do my morning routine and get on the road by 5:30. I won't get home until around 7 on Friday night.

I know that E&J won't really know the difference. They will just stay at my IL's house until Dan can pick them up and then my parent's will be here to help him with the 6:00 feedings. And Dan is so good with them and they are so used to him that they will be ok without seeing me and hearing my voice. So really, the only person this is super hard on is me. I don't want to be away from my babies.

A few people have said "Well atleast you will get a good night's sleep" but I don't know, I guess I like the sleep that I get now. I don't go to bed until after 10 because I get to rock and kiss my babies good night. And then I crawl into a bed where sometimes I smell spit up or roll onto a burp cloth that we missed but I love it. I can hear their white noise machine from my room and it helps put me to sleep but not too deep of a sleep. Because in the back of my mind, I am always listening for them. Im always ready to jump out of bed in an instant if one of them needs me. So yeah, thats the kind of sleep that I like.

But just like everything else, I will get through this too. Before I know it, the trip will be over and I will be home. I can't wait for that!

Hope everyone is having a good week!

Getting their "lean on" in the Bumbos

Sitting on the bed where Dan and I sit

Look how little Emma looks!

And look how confused Joshua looks! lol

Friday, April 9, 2010


I know a lot of people say that you shouldn't put a baby on a schedule, especially too early. Well, I knew pretty early on that I wouldn't be one of those moms. My kids are on a schedule and so am I. It works for us and it actually helps to make things more relaxed and less stressful for me. And if I am relaxed, then the babies are going to be more relaxed, too.

Since I know our schedule will always be changing Emma and Joshua grow older, I wanted to post about our current schedule so that I don't ever forget how these early months went. So here it goes:

5-5:30 AM. I wake up, pump, shower, read blogs and emails, sometimes do some work, get bottles ready

6:00 AM. Wake up Dan, wake up and feed E&J

7:00. Dress E&J, Dan makes lunch and breakfast, I get ready for work

7:20. Dan leaves to take E&J to his parent's house

7:30. I leave for work

9:00 Pump

10:00 E&J eat at my IL's house

12:00 Pump

2:00 E&J eat at my IL's house

3:00 Pump (oh yes, I am also doing like a million things for work during this time, too. My job is nuts)

3:30-4:30 Pick up E&J. It all depends how busy I am with work

4:30-5:00 E&J nap while I wash bottles, start dinner, do some cleaning, finish working

5:30. Dan comes home and we have dinner, I also pump

6:00 Feed E&J

6:30-7:30 Play with E&J, get them ready for bed and put them down at 7:30

7:30-9:00 Dan and I try to spend time together but we are normally making bottles for the next day, doing laundry, cleaning up. Oh and of course, I have to pump

9:15- Feed E&J (I'd like this to be more of a dream feed but they actually pretty much fully wake up. The good part is they go right back to bed)

10:00- E&J are back in bed. And so are Dan and I.

Wowza. Thats a long day. But we manage to get everything done because there is no question about when we are going to do it. So, my dear readers, do you have a schedule that works good for your family?

Emma's Reponse to My Schedule- sticking out her tongue!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Easter Updates

Its funny because last year, I was 2 days pregnant (if there is even such a thing) on Easter. We had our IUI on Good Friday and I remember how hopeful I felt at that time. I was almost giddy with excitement and the possibility that I could become a mother.

We had a good Easter this year but Im telling you, I am tired, even the next day. It was a lot of work and preparation, which Dan and I had to do in between the 5 naps and feedings that occur during the day. But we got it all done and in the end, it was worth it. We enjoy having our families together and seeing them all with Emma and Joshua.

Joshua pretty much rolled over by himself on Easter, it was so cool! I might have given him a little nudge to get him the rest of the way but he pretty much did it himself. He was such a charmer and spent most of the day smiling and laughing. And his laugh? Priceless. Its like this little throaty-gulp thing and it always makes me laugh, too.

On his side, getting ready to roll!

Joshu with me, my sister and my mom

Emma? She had a rough day. She was content in her bouncy chair but I think the combination of people and being tired set her off and she started crying. Well, crying is not the right word. It was more like hysterical screaming that lasted 45 minutes. Dan tried to walk her and he tried to feed her and she was just not having it. Finally she went to sleep and woke up a much happier baby.

Sweet Emma (this picture is the wrong direction but I cant fix it and the more I look and it, its still cute at this angle)

Dan feeding Emma after she woke up

Hope everyone had a great Easter!

Oh and if you'd like, vote for me at TMB- last month I made it to #8- on the Multiples Mom section, which isn't that big of a deal but I was excited :)

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Saturday, April 3, 2010

First Walk

Since the weather has been nice (um, almost 80 degrees?!) we took Emma and Joshua out today. We went to get some Subway and then took it to the park and ate. We then took a walk using our new stroller. Although it was kinda windy, E&J were big fans. They were both looking all around, smiling and laughing. Here are some pictures from our day:

Hanging out while we were eating

Dan behind the wheel

I assure you, he does smile!

Emma being all serious

Me trying out the stroller
I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend. And I hope everyone has a blessed Easter. What an amazing day- Jesus is Risen!