Saturday, July 24, 2010

Mommy Guilt

I think its amazing the guilt that most moms go through. In the beginning, I had tons of guilt about breastfeeding. Then I had guilt about going back to work. Eh, lets be honest, I still have guilt about that. I had guilt about not doing enough tummy time with Emma and Josh. I feel guilty if I give them jarred baby food. I feel guilty that I can't remember all the baby signs I am trying to teach them. Or that I am just too tired most of the time to do any educational activities with them. (Can you even DO educational activities with 7 month old babies? Who knows)

I think that as moms we should sign some kind of pact to let go of the mommy guilt. I mean, look at all of us. We grew up fine and our moms knew nothing about BPA free bottles, baby sign language, making food in an overpriced Beaba Babycook and heck, even car/booster seats past the age of 2. I have fond memories of sitting on the "hump" of the front seat with my grandparents and have seen pictures of me scooting around in one of those walkers with wheels with the TV blaring in the background. And you know what? I came out alright. So did my sister.

Im not saying we should let all current safety standards out the door (please don't call CPS, I am still using car seats!) but I am saying that it would be nice to not focus on all of the things we think we need to do for our kids to make them happy. Because when its all said and done, they won't remember if you fed them jarred food or pureed organic green beans. They will grow up remembering the laughter and the love.

So that's my new focus. Im not saying that I don't want what's best for Emma and Joshua. But I am saying that I want to remember that I can still be a great mommy and not be perfect. I hope that all of my mommy blog friends can understand this post and we can all remind one another that its ok to not be perfect. The love we have for our children is all that matters.

Have a good weekend!


11 comments:

Jessica@The Southern Belle Baby said...

I definitely know what you mean. I beat myself up if I think about doing something less than "perfectly," even though there's no such thing. One day he'll be eating mud and here I am stressing over organic avocados. Mommy guilt wins again!

Erica said...

I know exactly what you mean!! I feel guilty about all those things you mentioned. I stress that I am not giving them the best start that I can possibly give them but like you said, in the end as long as they were loved and properly cared for, all the little things won't really matter. =)

Brittney said...

Thank you so much for such a great post. I can totally relate, and I've only been a Mommy for seven weeks! It's really nice to know I'm not alone in how I've been feeling. I couldn't agree with you more - let's truly start to rid ourselves of that destructive Mommy guilt!:)

♥RedRose101307♥ said...

i know what you mean hun! it's so hard not to get caught up in everything we "should" be doing for our kids. i'm sure by the time we're going to be grandmas *gasp!* that half of what we do now will be considered taboo.
love you shan!

Kelly and Natalie said...

Amen. I formula-fed, jarred baby food-fed, have the tv on all day in the background (more for me!), and often lose my cool. But Natalie is happy, healthy, loved, and well-behaved (most of the time, haha). Must be doing something right! I remind myself of that daily when mommy guilt tries to take over. :)

Jeannie said...

I definitely could've written this. My biggest guilt, though, comes from being a mom of twins. I feel so guilty when I focus on one child more than the other because he's requiring more attention at that time. I don't want them to remember their brother spending more time with me than they did. Oh how I'm struggling with this one right now. But you're right, we all turned out just fine.

Carly said...

It is so funny you posted this b/c I was googling all weekend 'stimulating activities for a 13 mo old'. I never feel like what I do is enough- thanks for pointing out what is important!
Love those kids- I cannot believe how big they are getting

Kara's Mom said...

OMG - your post comes at the perfect time for me. My twins are 2 weeks old today and I am ashamed to admit that I gave up on exclusively breastfeeding like, immediately. I couldn't do the every-2-hour-feedings and babies had jaundice so they had to have formula, one didn't latch, etc. and so on. Look at me - I'm giving you the reasons why I didn't succeed. I've been pumping for 2 weeks and BF'ing one when she feels like it, but can only supply about 25% of their milk needs. I woke up this morning and decided that if I can continue this until I go back to work, then I'll have to be ok with that. I feel so guilty, but it's not helping my babies to have a stressed out mother who cries about breastfeeding. Here's to letting the mommy guilt go.

Just Believing said...

Such a great post something I think we all work on....its funny on one hand I think I am doing a great job but the second I sit on the couch for 2 seconds to rest I feel like a horrible mom! Its ridiculous actuall!

Your a fabulous mama! I know you know that ! Thanks fo rposting and sharing :)

osuraj said...

I feel the exact same way! Great post. Not to pick out one thing either-but do you have the Babycook? If so, what do you think of it? I'm contemplating getting one...overpriced and all-ha! :-)

Megan said...

I can relate. Trust me, home made baby food is a LOT of work. Steaming, smashing, puree-ing, putting it in ice cube trays or in bottles to freeze, its a lot of work. More like a weekend project if you get bored (highly unlikely, right?) but remember, jarred is still good for them. It might have a different taste and smell, but its the same thing and its saving your sanity. As for the rest, I still have problems wondering if I do enough and I'm home all day. Don't worry about it, they will remember all the good times and goofy things you did with them rather than learning signs, home made food, and what ever else there is. Chin up, you are an inspiration to MANY!